Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Pick Up Lines

People tell me that I'm "lucky at love". That's a nice way of saying that chicks dig me. I don't know why that is, but sometimes it's a curse! Listen, all of you hot sexy women, sometimes I just don't want to be treated like a sex object!!!

I've assembles this handy guide to help my "brothers from other mothers" get the girls of their dreams. Furthermore, I've divided them up into categories so you can use the appropriate pick up line on the right type of woman- Nothing is more embarrassing than going with a money line when you should have done something a little more... geek. This is the product of literally MINUTES of exhaustive research, so enjoy!

The Line That Works On All Women In General:

1. You know, inheriting $100 million doesn't mean much when you've only got six weeks to live.

Lines That Work On Mentally Ill Women:

1. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

2. Promise me that you won't cook my rabbit.

Lines For Geeky Women:

1. Your place or my Mom's?

2. If you only knew the power of the Dork Side.

3. You're even prettier than my fantasy girlfriend.

4. If you were a phaser you'd be set on "stunning"!

Lines That Just Won't Work:

1. So, do you like fat guys with no money?

2. It'll be really quick and you won't feel a thing.

3. My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off your shirt in a public place.

Lines That Are So Bad They Just Might Work:

1. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

2. Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

3. Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Anyway, report back and let me know how it goes. Good luck, men.

1 comment:

dark1 said...

OW! I've seen the future... and the future is painful. *SLAP*