Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Manly equipment driving

What do you get if you combine men, heavy equipment, and free time?

This video. So cool it hurts.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Typical manly behavior

This is one of the purest examples of manly behavior I have ever seen, and I just about spit out a kidney laughing when I first saw it.

Oh, and please note the camera work. See how the camera just stays focused on the couch for about twenty seconds before anything happens? That builds tension. It makes us all say to ourselves, "This is a huge waste of my time. I should go do something else and get a life." Just when you're about to give up you can hear the motor start. Great technique, I'm telling you.

I also love how the guy just laughs when he's done. He's all man, and that's both good and bad, but it makes a great video.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Cartoon I've saved for six months

I thought it was funny, but I have a somewhat strange sense of humor.

Eucalyptus explosion

I just spent many, many hours making many, many candles, and for the most part it went very, very smoothly. I've decided that I will double the descriptive words in this post to make it seem much, much more exciting.

Anyhoo, I grabbed a big jug of my special top secret formula for Bob's Eucalyptus and it slipped out of my hands and fell to the floor. Of course, it exploded like a Southern girl who's out of hairspray, so now I have the world's best smelling shoes. I can't wait to go to work tomorrow and see if anybody notices.

Now that I think about it, this really could open up a whole new product line for me- Scented shoes. Oh, it's going to be really, really big.

Awesome bathtub fixtures

I was surfing the web the other day when I came across this picture and nearly spit my gum out laughing. I've never seen a set of bathroom fixtures that seemed so worried.

I'm in the process of changing my bathroom fixtures right now, but I don't want mine to look worried... I want mine to look awestruck and impressed- I could use the ego boost every morning when I shower.

If you know what I mean.

Simple formula to increase manliness

One basic formula for increasing manliness is to take an ordinary item and make it, well, extraordinary. This works for almost everything. Regular trucks become monster trucks. Fire crackers and sparklers become the crazy explosives anybody can buy for the 4th of July nowadays. Old fashioned tube televisions become 150" plasma screen movie screens that rival IMAX theaters.

It's simple and effective. There are, however, some things that just can't be made truly manly. A unicycle may very well be one of them, as seen above. Other items that can't use this formula include fanny packs, Croc shoes, and of course the Mazda Miata. The only way to make these items manly is to fill them with Manly Man Candles, a practice I fully endorse.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Human nature

I was looking through some old pictures the other day when I came across a bunch of great snapshots from a trip I took to Laguna Seca. I went there to see the U.S. Grand Prix MotoGP race, and it was AWESOME. The race itself was incredible, but one of the best parts was just watching the people.

Now, I don't condone treating women like objects, but at the MotoGP race they have a bunch of "umbrella girls" walking around advertising various motorcycle related products. These girls will sometimes wear skimpy outfits to garner more male attention, which, again, is a practice I don't believe in.

Let me show you some of the pictures I took of them to prove how much I don't believe in this. Here's an example:

In case you were wondering, the guy with the beard and the white shirt is NOT an umbrella girl. Men just love having their picture taken with these girls for some reason. Now, in this next picture:

You'll notice that the men are happy to see umbrella girls. But I want to talk about human nature for a minute here. See, the interesting part of being at the race wasn't looking at the girls (really, I swear!), it was watching how the guys interacted with the girls. Or, as in my case, didn't interact. I kind of like being a fly on the wall at events like this.

Not like this guy:

See how he got right in the middle of all the girls, no shirt on, and wraps his arms around them? Confident. Manly. A little arrogant, even, but some girls like that. This is one example of male behavior.

Now look at this guy:This guy is with the same group of girls, but look at his arms. If this guy could actually detach his arms and have the camera guy hold them for this picture he would. He's clearly scared to death to touch the girls, and I've got to think they find it cute and endearing. Heck, I found it cute and endearing!

Me? If I'm truly honest with myself I would say I'm a lot more like the shy guy than the shirtless guy, but I have my alpha dog moments too, don't get me wrong.

To sum up: Some people are aggressive, some are passive, some are boisterous, some are shy, and one thing is absolutely certain- They ALL love manly candles.

Guess where!

My last "Guess where" post was a hit, so I've decided to do it again. I'm cool like that.

On a side note, I should have put a limit on the number of candles you could get with the 50% discount, though, because the winner got so many I think they're going to open up their own Manly Man Candle Company. Good luck to them, and yes, they're still eligible to win, because they'll probably have to restock their store soon!

Okay, here goes- Check out the picture above and either email me where it is or post the answer on this very blog entry. Good luck to all of you geography masters!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Long time, no see

I haven't posted lately, but rest assured that all is well and big changes are on the way. I've been extremely busy being extremely manly.

A big congrats to the people who guessed Rhyolite, Nevada for the location of the giant naked woman, your coupon is on the way!