Friday, October 10, 2008

Car shopping

My wife and I are looking for a cheap little car for me to drive back and forth to work in, and good gas mileage is a must. I know that I'm the only person in America who's looking for a cheap car that gets great mileage, so it should be pretty easy, right?


The other day my wife says, "One of my friends said she saw a little car for sale in her neighborhood, we should go check it out!" Off we went, excited as a puppy looking for a bone. We drove right to it, and I'll be darned if it wasn't a cheap car that gets great gas mileage. It had "45 MPG!" written on the windshield, which is way better than I had hoped for.

There's a problem, though. The car is a Geo Metro. Why is that a problem? Well, it only has three cylinders, for one. Total horsepower when brand new: 55. Probably horsepower now? Negative six. That's right, this car probably sucks the horsepower out of cars that get too close.

Did you see that color, by the way? Robin's egg blue if I've ever seen it. Just the thing to attract even more attention to myself in my sexy new car. I bet the stereo only plays Madonna songs, maybe George Michael if you're lucky.

In a nutshell, driving this car would be like driving a giant purse to work. Can you imagine my coworkers comments if I got this car? It would take an EXTREMELY manly man to buy and drive this car.

I guess I'm not as manly as I thought I was. The search for transportation will continue, and I will leave this car for a very lucky 16 year old girl.


david said...

If you purchase - or drive - this car, you will likely lose your membership in the Male gender. In other words, you will officially be a woman.

On the other hand, if you purchase it and then cover it with primer, remove the muffler, and install a 50,000 watt radio, you might have a shot at maintaining some sort of street cred.

Lani said...

I think David is right. Maybe add a huge sticker that says "Coal miners do it in the dark" to the back windshield also. Oh yeah and 1 or 2 mismatched wheels.

Anonymous said...

Hey if you're really lucky the radio will play nothing but Abba!!

At least your boss would appreciate it.