Friday, May 23, 2008

Things I want invented IMMEDIATELY



So yesterday I complained about the lack of progress over the last thirty years. What? You didn't read yesterday's post? Go ahead and read it, it's brilliant. You know what? Go read and re-read everything on this blog- It's ALL brilliant.

Some recent inventions have been less than revolutionary. The George Foreman Grill, for example. Sure, it cooks a mean hamburger and drains all of the fat off, but it doesn't lower my gas bill one red cent. So, with no further ado, here's my list of things I need immediately, if not sooner.

1. The flying car. This has been promised for over 60 years, and still nothing practical is flying around. Come on, people!

2. Laser guns. Phasers, lasers, or any type of gun that shoots a visible beam of light and makes people either smoke or disappear. I know some people that could use a blasting.

3. Clones. Sure we've cloned goats, but I can't train a cloned goat to ship out candles or go clothes shopping with my wife. Let's get with it, science!

4. Speaking of genetics, I want a dog that doesn't shed, is always a puppy, and doesn't require food or bathroom breaks.

See what I mean? I see no reason why my clone can't take my wife and genetically engineered laser gun packing dog for a ride in my free flying car right now. Which would leave me free to stay home and watch ESPN. Again.

1 comment:

dark1 said...

Whoa, there, Turbo... I think you're not thinking too clearly on the part about cloning yourself. I'm all for the dog who doesn't shed or need to eat or use the lawn, or the laser guns/phasers (I could use one myself). I wouldn't want to go for whole the cloning myself thing, though. You saw the movie "Multiplicity," didn't you? I think that says it all...