Monday, August 11, 2008

My basement is a mess

You probably know that every Manly Man candle is made with a secret combination of wax, scents, and machismo, but did you know that they're all handmade by a covert crew of extra hairy oompa-loompas?

Oh, and if I spelled oompa-loompas wrong, chalk it up to the fact that I have a life.

Anyway, these oompa-loompas have been so busy lately that they've been neglecting their cleaning duties. I had to spend a couple of hours cleaning up the factory floor last night. It's spotless again, but you can't believe the mess. Shipping labels everywhere, wax everywhere, boxes and packing peanuts strewn all over the floor... They even spilled their oompa-loompa food and water bowls!

Needless to say, they received a stern talking too.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

what, pray tell, is an oompa-loompa? did you grow up reading dr. seuss or something? doesn't sound very manly to me.

Anonymous said...

WHAT are you talking about? you idiot!!!! EVERYONE knows that oompa-loompas are the ROCK STARS of the netherworld. they are sneaky, crafty little guys who come in, get the work done, then leave without a word. oompa-loompas are so manly that they should have their own scent!!!! just don't corner one- i know a guy who knew a guy whose sister's cousins brother-in-law was out hunting jackalopes in the mountains of north dakota, and he came upon this pack of wolverines who made the mistake of cornering an oompa-loompa. yup. all 15 wolverines dead. oompa-loompas are VICIOUS. cold-blooded killers. DO NOT MESS WITH THE OOMPA-LOOMPA.

Anonymous said...

you dork. everyone knows that jackalopes don't live in the mountains.

Anonymous said...

hey manlyman- why in the name of jumpin' jehosphat do we have to do that funky script word verification thing when we post in your blog? i mean, its the gayest thing ever.

(not that there's anything wrong with that)

Anonymous said...

Yumpin' yiminy! Its about time someone recognized the manly man. You mean the manly man's wife and daughter do all the work? Sounds like an Indian tribe where the men hunt and fish all day and the women clean and cook fish and turn the buffaloe hides into rugs! Sounds like the manly man has it figured out! He would make a good Hutterite! Let's see if we can get him some black clothes.

Anonymous said...

yo, ManlyMan-

where are you? you haven't blogged for 2 days!!! whatever happened, I hope you didn't die!!! that would break my...****ing heart!!!!!

c'mon, get with it!!! i need you!!! we need you!!! the world needs you!!!! STOP resting on your laurels and BLOG!!!!

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree that the manlyman would make a good Hutterite. why, i bet he could even grow a set of muttonchops!!!

Anonymous said...

How come no one is manyly enough to post as who they really are????
I am posting anonymously to protect myself from flying monkeys...