My Superbowl thoughts

As a life-long Steeler fan I am, of course, thrilled that they won the Superbowl. They had the hardest schedule in the NFL this year, and had an absolutely amazing season. Congratulations to all involved, including the Cardinals, who played a fantastic game.

I watched the game at my dad's house with my family. We all met there for one reason- To enjoy the company of my loving family and share the joy of a big event; to build memories that would last a lifetime.

Just kidding. He has the biggest TV, so it was a no-brainer. My television, by the way, is a manly, manly piece of audio/video equipment... The screen measures a GIGANTIC 27 inches, and it features low definition, mono sound, and several dents. Seriously.

Anyhoo, here's a quick summation of my emotions during the game:

1. Yay!

2. Yay!

3. Damn!

4. Damn- WAIT, JAMES HARRISON INTERCEPTED IT, RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN YES TOUCHDOWN!!

5. Halftime.

6. Yay!

7. Damn!

8. Damn!

9. Double Damn!

10. Oh Lord we're behind, I need to go lie down. I'm so very sad.

11. OH YEAH WE'RE WINNING AGAIN I LOVE EVERYBODY!

12. Terror that Kurt Warner would break my heart

13. It's over, I'm exhausted.


That was a great game. I'm tired just thinking about it. Oh, and that Doritos crystal ball commercial made coke come out my nose. Awesome.

Manly Man of the Week

I usually try to stay away from writing about politics- It's never good business to alienate half of your customers, and I think there are more than enough places on the web where you can read about politics if you want to. Today, though, I'm going to make an exception, and make President Barack Obama the Manly Man of the Week.

By the way, if any politician is reading this, I need to talk to you about my "Manly Man Candle Bailout Program" idea. I promise I won't buy a $50 million jet with my bailout money, and I won't ask for more after I get my initial 3 billion dollars.

I suggest that you check out the White House Website, too. Amazing stuff on there.

My health status: Fine

Do you recognize the man in the picture above? It's none other than Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, Inc. He's an amazing man, really, with a list of accomplishments as long or longer than almost anybody in the computer industry. Some of his creations include the Apple II, the Macintosh, the iPod, and the iPhone, and oh yeah, he also bought Pixar Animation and led that company as they produced Toy Story, The Incredibles, Cars, and many more amazing films.

So yeah, he's a cool guy. A manly man, to say the least. A man who has pushed the human race forward, as a great Apple commercial once said about other people.

Now Steve Jobs has temporarily left Apple for health reasons, and the computer industry has their collective panties in a bunch. Apple stock has fluctuated because of fears of his lack of leadership and inspiration. People are thinking about filing lawsuits because they think Apple hid the severity of his illness from investors. Rumors are flying around cyberspace about what's wrong with him. CNN even posted an iReport a month or so ago saying that he was dead. They retracted it as soon as they found out he was still alive, but Apple's stock fell severely on the (fake) news.

Okay, I'm rambling, but I really identify with Steve. We're both the undisputed leaders of our companies. We're both visionaries- Him with computer tech, and me with manly scents. We're both manly, manly men who can grow great facial hair (you should see my mustache!). We're both billionaires who can change the world with the snap of our fingers.

Well, I guess I don't completely identify with Steve, but you get the idea.

Best wishes to you Steve. This commercial fits you as well as anyone:

Manly Man of the Week

Some are born to greatness, others have greatness thrust upon them. I'm a little of both. Sure, I try to lay low and just live a normal life, but the paparazzi keep following me. They're hiding in a wheat field across the gravel road from me right now, trying to snap a picture of me in a compromising position. Sure, my psychiatrist tells me that they're not there, and that they've never been there, but I'm pretty sure he's working for them. They're all out to get me.

But let's put my psychosis behind us for a minute. Yesterday was my daughter's first day of high school. I know what you're thinking- How could someone so young, powerful, sexy, and manly have a daughter old enough to be in high school? I got an early start- I was only 14 when she was born.

Yeah, that's it. 14.

Anyway, she came home last night and started telling us about her day, and guess what? After running a campaign of literally MINUTES she's now the freshman class president. I'm pretty sure she ran a campaign based on change, relaxed dress codes, and a Manly Man candle in every classroom.

Here's to you, my little dictator. You're the Manly Man of the Week.

Manly Men of the Week

A lot of people think that the Manly Man of the Week award should be given out every week. They couldn't be more wrong. See, this award is SO PRESTIGIOUS and LIFE CHANGING that I can't simply give it out to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Some weeks there just isn't someone manly enough to give the award too.

And some weeks I forget, or have something better to write about.

But this week I have not one, but TWO winners. My brothers.

I don't want to get all mushy here, but when you have brothers who will come out and fix your lawn mower, or take care of your dogs, you know you're a lucky man. Let's just say they've always been there for me, and leave it at that.

All of the recent kindness, however, still doesn't make me forget when they almost drowned me, or the years of psychological damage from the entire "soccer bopper" incident (don't ask).

Still, though, I have to give them the ultimate award. Congrats, brothers. You are the manly men of the week.

Manly Man of the Week

You know who this week's Manly Man of the Week is?

Me. I've never been one to really "finish things", or "complete things", or even really "continue to do things", but I have been kicking butt on this blog. Have you seen all of the pointless, incessant rambling I've done on this so far? It's amazing.

The rewarding thing is that I know that this read by literally dozens of people every month. The sheer fact that I'm reaching so many people nearly brings me to tears. Or my tears could be caused by seasonal allergies, who knows.

Anyway, I just want you all to know that I will continue to rock on. I will rock on harder than ever. Or I will rock at a slightly lower level than before. You'll just have to stay tuned.

Manly Man of the Week

The very first Manly Man of the Week award goes to the guy who built this beautiful machine. Let's examine the picture a bit, shall we?

The first thing everyone notices are the big tires. Sure, they're nice, go ahead and ogle them. I'm pretty sure that this guy just bolted the car body onto a truck frame, and trust me, that's awesome. In fact, I dare say that's MANLY. However, the devil's in the details.

Giant chrome bumper/grill guard? Check.

Humongous tube cargo rack on the roof? Check.

Bright yellow lettering on the side? Check.

American flag and POW/MIA flag? Check and Check.

Listen, I know that gas is about $3.30 a gallon here in Montana now. I also know that this thing probably gets about 2 miles a gallon (less with the cargo rack full). I also know that I want this thing so badly it hurts, and I also know that whoever created this fine piece of American iron is this week's MANLY MAN OF THE WEEK.

You're welcome.