Announcement on Terrell Owens

Now that Terrell Owens has officially signed with the Buffalo Bills I can tell this story.

Manly Man Candle Company has been in spirited negotiations to obtain the services of Mr. Owens for the past several weeks. We felt that he would really bring something special to the company- After all, he's really strong, so he could probably lift a lot of candles, and he's pretty fast, so our shipping speeds would probably increase, too.

Sadly, though, our negotiations broke down, we just couldn't come to terms that both sides could agree on. The main sticking point is that Buffalo offered him over six million dollars for one year, and Manly Man Candle Company only offered three dollars an hour. His agent said that wasn't enough, and said that three dollars an hour was, in fact, illegal, since it was well below minimum wage, so we upped our bid to three dollars an hour PLUS a free candle once a week, but some people are just never satisfied.

Oh well. Good luck with the Bills, Terrell. You don't know what you're missing!