Here's how to fix the U.S. auto industry

Break the mold. Shift the paradigm. Hire more attractive women to stand next to your cars.

Hey, couldn't hurt.

Daredevils

So I drove my lovely young wife into work this morning so I could get some work done on the car. Normally I'm so manly that I'll just do the work myself, but let's face it- It's cold out and I'm lazy.

So, $110 dollars later the car is full of gas, fresh oil, new filters, vacuumed, shaved, showered and gift-wrapped. This reminds me of a conversation that I had with my family last night. We were driving around the gravel roads where I grew up, seeing the sights, when I mentioned that I would always drive over this big hill and hit the gas to speed down the other side. My wife then said that I shouldn't say things like that with our daughter in the car, because she'll be driving by herself soon and we want her to be careful.

I suggested that girls (and women) simply don't have the same idiotic tendencies that boys (and full grown men) do. Why is that? Is testosterone the drug that makes us all think we're stuntmen? And why is blowing stuff up so cool? And why does Motorhead rock so hard?

Anyway, I doubt you'd see a girl in the picture above. They're a little too... smart for that.

Top Gear!

Sometimes you see people and you think, "Man, I wish I had that job!" I've thought that several times. First when I was six and saw the Shriner's drive their little cars around in the parade, then later when I was sixteen and learned that the Hawaiian Tropics girls hired someone to put suntan lotion on them. If only there was a way to put the lotion on the girls while driving the little cars around.. HEAVEN!

Oh, and if my wife is reading this, I am, of course, kidding, and I love you. That last part was just to get more hits so I can sell more candles. Then, naturally, I'll take the money and buy you something nice!

Back to the show. Top Gear is the best thing on British television, right up there with Doctor Who. You're really a nerd if you know what Doctor Who is, by the way. Anyway, Top Gear is a show all about cars, but they do crazy things with them. Like race them against military jets, or try to make everyday cars amphibious and drive (and float) them from France to England. They have celebrities come on the show and drive laps around their test track, and compare their times against all the other celebrities. Most of the time I don't even know who the celebrities are, because they're British. The best part of the show, though, is that the three hosts are true MEN. They're not afraid to do crazy things and almost die, which pretty much defines MANLY.

Here's my case in point: One of the hosts is driving a jet powered car on an airport runway, gets a flat tire, and crashes at well over two hundred miles per hour. He's fine now, but man, that's awesome. Give it a watch, then tell me if you would do it.

I would.