Vacasions

Yes, I spelled that right, VACASION. It's a combination of a vacation and an invasion. It occurs when you and a large group of people you're traveling with, usually your family, enter a store, restaurant, or other establishment while on vacation. In restaurants they look at you and sigh, then say, "How many?" For maximum effect the group should have over ten people, several of them babies or young, loud, screaming, messy kids.

You get bonus points if you make the hostess cry.


Here's a checklist so you will know if you're vacasioning:

1. Can your group completely block aisles in gift shops, thereby denying access to all other customers?

2. Can your group's voices drown out anyone else in the store?

3. Do other customers leave the store (or refuse to enter) when they see your group? Bonus points if they tremble in fear.

4. Do you travel in a bus? Must you take several vehicles? Do you have more people in a car than you have seats?

Vacasioning isn't an art, it's an assault. Enjoy this term, please feel free to spread it around.

Oh, and you're welcome.