Damn you, Australia!

I swear that nobody in Australia can read. I just checked Google Analytics to see if I'd gotten a single hit from you kangaroo loving criminals and I still haven't. EVERY OTHER CONTINENT (EXCEPT ANTARCTICA) HAS READ THIS BLOG, BUT YOU CROCODILE DUNDEE LOVING FOSTER'S BEER DRINKING AUSSIES HAVEN'T CLICKED ONCE.

It's beginning to make me a little angry. I'm going to start spreading vicious rumors about Australia until I get a hit from your "continent". It's really more of an island, but if it makes you illiterate castoffs happy to call it a continent then fine.

I'm serious, people. This will go on until I get a click from someone down under, where women glow and men plunder. I will issue an apology to all of Australia if someone sends me a picture of themselves in Australia with a picture of a recent newspaper.

But for now, it's on, Australia.