To the political genius at the airport yesterday

I was sitting in the Memphis airport last night waiting for an airplane. It would have been weird to have been sitting in the airport waiting for a bus, so I was waiting for an airplane.

Logical, don't you think? Try to keep up. I know you ignorant Australians are having trouble with this, so I'll type slower.

Anyhoo, this loud and somewhat annoying woman starts talking about the American presidential campaign. And she is talking with authority, because she once ran for public office. I'm not sure if she won, or not, but her campaign for "Supreme Ruler Of All Things Pretentious and Self-Righteous" must have been a doozy.

Look, I have my political views, and they're pretty strong, but I'm not going to bother you by screaming them to you every chance I get. Tell you what- I'll give you credit for making a decision you believe in, and you do the same for me.

Loudly talking about things you don't fully understand just makes you look like an idiot. Please don't do it. Oh, and I'll never change my mind because you heard a rumor on the internet about the guy. If you want me to think about your candidate, tell me something positive about him, not something negative about someone else. I don't care if McCain divorced his first wife. I don't care if Obama's grandma had her picture taken holding a chicken. I'm divorced and I like chicken, so I support both of those platforms.

To sum up, I appreciate your zeal for the process, now shut the hell up about it. The election is a long ways away, and I swear I'll shoot out my TV just like Elvis if I don't get a break from this.