Announcement on Terrell Owens

Now that Terrell Owens has officially signed with the Buffalo Bills I can tell this story.

Manly Man Candle Company has been in spirited negotiations to obtain the services of Mr. Owens for the past several weeks. We felt that he would really bring something special to the company- After all, he's really strong, so he could probably lift a lot of candles, and he's pretty fast, so our shipping speeds would probably increase, too.

Sadly, though, our negotiations broke down, we just couldn't come to terms that both sides could agree on. The main sticking point is that Buffalo offered him over six million dollars for one year, and Manly Man Candle Company only offered three dollars an hour. His agent said that wasn't enough, and said that three dollars an hour was, in fact, illegal, since it was well below minimum wage, so we upped our bid to three dollars an hour PLUS a free candle once a week, but some people are just never satisfied.

Oh well. Good luck with the Bills, Terrell. You don't know what you're missing!

My Superbowl thoughts

As a life-long Steeler fan I am, of course, thrilled that they won the Superbowl. They had the hardest schedule in the NFL this year, and had an absolutely amazing season. Congratulations to all involved, including the Cardinals, who played a fantastic game.

I watched the game at my dad's house with my family. We all met there for one reason- To enjoy the company of my loving family and share the joy of a big event; to build memories that would last a lifetime.

Just kidding. He has the biggest TV, so it was a no-brainer. My television, by the way, is a manly, manly piece of audio/video equipment... The screen measures a GIGANTIC 27 inches, and it features low definition, mono sound, and several dents. Seriously.

Anyhoo, here's a quick summation of my emotions during the game:

1. Yay!

2. Yay!

3. Damn!

4. Damn- WAIT, JAMES HARRISON INTERCEPTED IT, RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN YES TOUCHDOWN!!

5. Halftime.

6. Yay!

7. Damn!

8. Damn!

9. Double Damn!

10. Oh Lord we're behind, I need to go lie down. I'm so very sad.

11. OH YEAH WE'RE WINNING AGAIN I LOVE EVERYBODY!

12. Terror that Kurt Warner would break my heart

13. It's over, I'm exhausted.


That was a great game. I'm tired just thinking about it. Oh, and that Doritos crystal ball commercial made coke come out my nose. Awesome.

The Steeler's kicker rocks

So the Steelers are in the Superbowl again, and they're probably going to get ring number six. As a Steeler fan, I couldn't be happier.

Then I found this picture on the web. This picture was apparently taken within the past day or two, and it's of Pittsburgh kicker Jeff Reed enjoying himself (and his hair care products) in Tampa.

I love this picture, and I'm glad you're having a good time, Jeff, but you'd better not miss a field goal in the game, or as Ricky would say to Lucy, "You got some 'splain' to do!"

The NCAA Men's Championship

I just spent the last three hours watching Kansas become the NCAA Men's Basketball champions. Congrats to all of you Jayhawks fans. Both of you.

Did anyone see the three pointer to tie the game at the end of regulation? Nice job, random kid from Kansas. You'll be telling anyone who'll listen about that shot for the rest of your life. People will come up to you and say, "Aren't you the guy who..." and you won't even listen to the rest of the sentence before you say, "Yes. Yes I am."

Anyway, great job Kansas. Thanks to Memphis falling into a coma for the last two minutes of the game you're the champs. And that's very manly.

Manly Man of the Week

The very first Manly Man of the Week award goes to the guy who built this beautiful machine. Let's examine the picture a bit, shall we?

The first thing everyone notices are the big tires. Sure, they're nice, go ahead and ogle them. I'm pretty sure that this guy just bolted the car body onto a truck frame, and trust me, that's awesome. In fact, I dare say that's MANLY. However, the devil's in the details.

Giant chrome bumper/grill guard? Check.

Humongous tube cargo rack on the roof? Check.

Bright yellow lettering on the side? Check.

American flag and POW/MIA flag? Check and Check.

Listen, I know that gas is about $3.30 a gallon here in Montana now. I also know that this thing probably gets about 2 miles a gallon (less with the cargo rack full). I also know that I want this thing so badly it hurts, and I also know that whoever created this fine piece of American iron is this week's MANLY MAN OF THE WEEK.

You're welcome.