Welcome new Manly Man!

The world's newest Manly Man was born at 12:52 AM 3/18/2009, and both he and his Beautiful Southern Mom™ are perfectly healthy.

Sorry for the short post, but I'm going to hold my new son. It's an amazing thing.

Thundercat status: Go?

It's 2:32, and I was just woken up by my Beautiful Southern Wife™, we could be in the final countdown.

More as this develops!

Pregnancy update

I was trying to find a picture of a VERY pregnant woman to go along with this post, and I finally ended up with Octomom. No, I am not Octomom's baby daddy, contrary to what the media is saying.

Anyway, just a quick update here on Mrs. Manly Man: Her due date was March 10th. It is now March 16th, and she is still pregnant.

Mrs. Manly Man is very tired of being pregnant. I'm beginning to think this little Manly Man is going to be enrolled in school before he's born. Maybe he'll have a little Magnum P.I. mustache when he comes out!

Updates to follow, wish us luck!

Things I think about

Okay, people, it's time for the final countdown. We're a week away from day my Beautiful Southern Wife™ is supposed to deliver our very first manly man, and it's getting pretty exciting. It seemed like this day would never come, but after only 14 trimesters of pregnancy the day is finally just about here. Every time the phone rings I'm sure I'm going to hear the words my wife is supposed to say when she goes into labor- "THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!"

Yes, I stole that from the movie "Juno". It's funny, sue me.

As you can tell, I spend a great deal of time thinking about this. In fact, I probably spend about 45% of my day thinking about the labor, birth, and life of my new son. The other 55% of my thoughts are divided between my wife, daughter, dogs, and motorcycles. In order to spare anyone's feelings I won't tell you the specific percentages between those.

To provide some insight into what makes me such an expert on being manly, here's a list of things I thought about today:


1. I need to change oil in the car. Maybe Wednesday.

2. I should have my family over for dinner soon. Maybe Wednesday.

3. Nice weather really brings the motorcycle riders out.

4. I need a new audiobook to listen to on my commutes to and from work.

5. I can't wait to put our new scent on the website and tell the world about it. It rocks.


So there are a few of the not-so-complicated thoughts of a not-so-complicated man. If you stay tuned you'll see the new scent launch (or drop, as the kids say these days) a few days after the launch of my new son. It comes from a suggestion that one of my customers gave me, and it's perfect for Manly Man Candle Company.

Just got back from labor class

Now that my Beautiful Southern Wife™ is heading into her 7th trimester (or so it seems to me) we've been doing the pre-delivery classes. The first one we did was "Labor Basics", where we learned the do's and don'ts of a hospital delivery, such as:


Do pack a bag filled with everything you'll need for your hospital stay.

Don't fill that bag with with earplugs and motorcycle magazines for yourself.


Do position yourself so you can help the mother and be supportive.

Don't push the doctor out of the way while yelling, "I got this one, college boy!"


I could go on, but you get the drift- Don't do anything that might upset the expectant mother, or anything that might be fun. The second class was on breastfeeding, which I didn't attend, because, as I explained to my wife, that doesn't seem like a skill I'm really going to need. Turns out I was the only husband who didn't attend, so apparently I was a little off base on that one.

Tonight's class was "Comfort Measures", which covered breathing techniques and described the various drugs the mother can take during the labor and delivery. To start the class the instructor asked if anyone had been having trouble sleeping. I said no, that I was sleeping like a rock, but apparently the instructor was talking mainly to the pregnant women.

Sometimes it seems like this whole pregnancy is just all about the woman. It's sexist, I tell you. Anyway, to summarize tonight's class:

1. When contractions start, breath slowly.

2. When contractions get worse, breath faster.

3. When it really hurts, breath as fast as you can, while making this sound: "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Or something like that, I didn't take notes. There's only one class left, then we're certified to become parents. I hope we pass- I'd hate to have to have my wife be forced into overtime!

No weird food cravings

Men who have lived with pregnant women all deserve medals know that they can be crazy are truly performing miracles, and appreciate their hard work. I tell my wife at least once a day how much I respect her for carrying our child, and I also tell her that I'm jealous and wish that I could carry him for a while and experience the miracle myself.

That's a lie and we both know it, but she smiles politely.

You know how television shows usually have pregnant women craving weird things like pickles and ice cream? Well, I like pickles, and I'm more than happy to enjoy some ice cream, so one of the things I was looking forward to most was indulging in delicious foods for nine months.

How well has that worked out for me? Not well at all.

What has she craved? Nothing. Guess what's happened... She's gotten food aversions. That's right, there are no foods she craves, only foods that she no longer likes.

Tacos? Can't eat them. Macaroni and cheese? Can't stand the sight. Energy bars? Nope. So, instead of me gorging myself on ice cream and junk food, I get to eat healthy foods, and that's a complete rip off.

Yes, I'm whining, but here's the point: I will trade anyone a small Manly Man Candle for a taco. Email me for details, but please hurry- I could really use a taco.