Rooster named Danger

One of my daughter's friends has a rooster named "Danger".

I find that hysterical.

Let sleeping dogs lie

I'm loving posting videos lately. This one can officially be declared "hilarious".

GUINEA PIGS 4 SALE, CHEAP

About a year ago, my then 14 year old daughter decided that the cutest thing in the world is a guinea pig, and that she had to have one. I, of course, put my foot down, and said (in no uncertain terms) that she had to ask her mom.

Very manly, I know. I can sense that you're impressed with my awesome decision making and parenting skills, and I accept your awe in my typical graceful way. The true beauty of this maneuver is that there was no way my sweet wife would ever say yes, so I would get to be the good guy, and she would have to be the bad guy and say no.

My wife, though, didn't live up to her end of the bargain. She also thought that guinea pigs are the cutest things in the world, so not only did my lovely daughter end up with a guinea pig (named Penny), my wife ended up with a pig of her own (named Chewy).

They're cute, no doubt. They're both females, because I'm not interested in becoming a guinea pig breeder- At least not yet. They're lots of fun, too. They chase each other around their pens, kick up wood chips, drink lots of water, poop, and eat. Here's a list of everything they can do:

1. Chase each other around the pen

2. Kick up wood chips

3. Drink lots of water

4. Poop

5. Eat

6. Absolutely nothing else

They don't mind being held and petted, and in fact, they remind me of a tribble from the original Star Trek series. However, for the right price, these awesome pets can be yours. Bidding starts at -$5.00 (I pay you five dollars to take them). Bid early and bid often!

Manly Pets

So as you already know, Rambo, the company frog, has moved on to warmer climates. And don't worry about his afterlife, because as Walt Disney says, all frogs go to heaven.

Frog heaven is always 88 degrees, humid, full of crickets, and man, you should see the girl frogs. HOT!!!!!!

Events like this always make people take stock of where they are in life. Am I happy? Are my goals being met? What will I have for lunch? Where did I leave my iPod? Questions like this have been streaming across my synapses for the past week or two. The latest question is a big one- Should Rambo be replaced, or should we just cherish the memory?

Now I have to admit the pets we have are... embarrassing. A mini-pinscher and a mini-schnauzer currently run around the house and cause trouble. Sadly, any dog whose name starts with "mini" is NOT going to be a manly dog. That's just an unwritten rule. You never hear about "mini-pit bulls" or "mini-German Shepherds". There's no "mini-cobra" or "mini-shark".

And now I have to tell you that I also have two female Guinea Pigs. I swear the pets that fill this house have more estrogen in them than a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader tryout session.

It's time to get a manly pet. I don't know what yet, but it will be MANLY. Stay tuned.