GUINEA PIGS 4 SALE, CHEAP

About a year ago, my then 14 year old daughter decided that the cutest thing in the world is a guinea pig, and that she had to have one. I, of course, put my foot down, and said (in no uncertain terms) that she had to ask her mom.

Very manly, I know. I can sense that you're impressed with my awesome decision making and parenting skills, and I accept your awe in my typical graceful way. The true beauty of this maneuver is that there was no way my sweet wife would ever say yes, so I would get to be the good guy, and she would have to be the bad guy and say no.

My wife, though, didn't live up to her end of the bargain. She also thought that guinea pigs are the cutest things in the world, so not only did my lovely daughter end up with a guinea pig (named Penny), my wife ended up with a pig of her own (named Chewy).

They're cute, no doubt. They're both females, because I'm not interested in becoming a guinea pig breeder- At least not yet. They're lots of fun, too. They chase each other around their pens, kick up wood chips, drink lots of water, poop, and eat. Here's a list of everything they can do:

1. Chase each other around the pen

2. Kick up wood chips

3. Drink lots of water

4. Poop

5. Eat

6. Absolutely nothing else

They don't mind being held and petted, and in fact, they remind me of a tribble from the original Star Trek series. However, for the right price, these awesome pets can be yours. Bidding starts at -$5.00 (I pay you five dollars to take them). Bid early and bid often!