Looking at my girly pets really made me think about what constitutes a "manly" pet. I mean, seriously- My wife's mini-pinscher (who is a girl, of course) learned to pee from watching a boy dog, so she sort of squats and yet still hikes a back leg up when she waters the lawn. Sure, it's hilarious, but not manly. Last night I spent some time thinking about what I could get that would match the insane levels of manliness that I possess, and here it is, presented in a handy list form.1. The lion pictured above.
2. A live wild grizzly bear. With rabies and a bad attitude.
3. A colorful African parrot (Note: This only works if I have a pegleg and an eyepatch.)
4. A hybrid wolf/dog crossbreed that always carried a crossbow across his back.
5. Princess Leia, in the outfit she was in when she was Jabba the Hut's slave.
6. An angry cobra, on a leash. He's angry because everyone keeps making fun of his lisp. Snake kids can be so cruel!
7. A swarm of killer bees that answer only to me, and leave a trail of destruction (and delicious honey) in our wake.
8. Robotic chickens with a penchant for evil pecking.
So, as you can see, a manly pet is something that's unusual and dangerous. None of the above pets are "yappy", except for perhaps number five. I need two more to make a top ten list, so your comments are appreciated!
Oh, and buy a manly candle.
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1 comment:
I say, go for the lion or the grizzly! That way you don't need a home security system and you know your daughter will be safe from any non-manly guys who try to get close. The chickens would be funny to see. The bees would be nice, though...
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